“My momma always said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.’” This most famous movie quote sums up the year 2021 so far for my family. (And am I the only one for whom this quote comes to mind every time I open a box of chocolates?!)
My brain is focused on movies this month, as recently my life has more closely resembled the movie Groundhog Day than normal life. I have to admit up front, this is NOT my favorite movie, and having lived this story the past six weeks has certainly not generated any further endearment. As you might guess if you have never seen the actual movie (if you haven’t, I mean it IS considered a classic from the 1990’s), it is the story of a TV weatherman who travels to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to cover Punxsutawney Phil for Groundhog’s Day, but ends up waking up and reliving the day over and over again. It is still debated as to what actually broke the repeat loop, so I’ll let you watch this movie to see if you can figure it out without giving away the ending.
Many of you already know of my history of significant heart issues. Last spring I traveled to Texas for a surgery to rid my heart of its outer lining called the pericardium, which was constricting my heart function, causing shortness of breath, inadequate oxygen, and chest pain even at rest. This January, my symptoms surprisingly and suddenly returned. This technically shouldn’t have happened since the outer covering of the heart had been nearly fully removed in two previous surgeries. So it was very hard to wrap my head around my symptoms re-appearing. I didn’t want to accept and acknowledge what was happening, even as I dutifully worked to inform my physicians so the appropriate testing could begin again. My natural reaction to deny what was happening was sharply contrasted by the symptoms that grew noticeably worse each day. This rapid decline was so concerning, I was hospitalized one week after the symptoms appeared and two weeks later, a repeat robotic pericardiectomy to remove scar tissue and adhesions that had impeded blood flow between my heart and lungs was performed by the very same Texas surgeon as last year.
As you can imagine, it has been a whirlwind of a month! I am still working on wrapping my head around this déjà vu event. God certainly had His hand in me getting the help that I needed so quickly and encouraging Dr. Jett, my Texas surgeon, to take the leap and perform exploratory surgery, since adhesions and scar tissue are not visible on imaging. The wonderful news is that I am now feeling great and looking forward to treating patients again next week! God is certainly faithful in providing a miracle when one is required. I am so very grateful to God, my children, my church, and my friends for providing the support, encouragement, and meals to get me through each difficult day leading up to and following surgery. I share much of my personal story on my author page and blog at https://www.drjillmurphy.com/.
I don’t think it was a coincidence that on my final day in Texas as I drove away from my post op visit with my surgeon, the song, “Fires” by Jordan St Cyr played on my rental car radio. I had never heard the song (https://youtu.be/H-ggZd-SmSs) before, but the words hit me so hard- it felt like a summary of my life’s story so far.
I remember how You told me
That life may not be easy
And everything that I need
You've already given me
I remember how You told me
I can trust You completely
So why am I doubting
When You proved that You'd fight for me
You've walked me through fires
Pulled me from flames
If You're in this with me
I won't be afraid
When the smoke billows higher, oh and higher
And it feels like I can barely breathe
I'll walk through these fires
'Cause You're walking with me
I'm changed by Your mercy
Covered by Your peace
I'm living out the victory
Doesn't mean I won't feel the heat
You've walked me through fires
Pulled me from flames
If You're in this with me
I won't be afraid
When the smoke billows higher, oh and higher
And it feels like I can barely breathe
I'll walk through these fires
'Cause You're walking with me
I can face anything
'Cause You're here with me
I can do all things
'Cause You strengthen me
I remember how You showed me
The price of my redemption
Lord, how could I question
When You proved that You'd die for me
You've walked me through fires
Pulled me from flames
If You're in this with me
I won't be afraid
When the smoke billows higher, oh and higher
And it feels like I can barely breathe
I'll walk through these fires
'Cause You're walking with me
It’s interesting that now we are finally turning a corner with COVID-19, that you, too, might start to feel this same way. It’s time to be grateful to still be here and for the opportunity to look forward to better and brighter days! I am looking forward to the time when we can once more come together as family, friends, and community to build each other up in fellowship, hugs, and see each other’s smiling faces at backyard barbeques, parties, parades, runs, community gatherings, and sporting events. May we never again take the simple joys of life shared with loved ones for granted!
Resiliently Yours,
Jill
Dr. Jill Murphy
Owner/Physical Therapist
MotionWorks Physical Therapy